. I’m so much stronger than I used to be. I can enjoy life so much more, everything is more intense, and doesn’t pass me by anymore. I do everything much more consciously, not on autopilot anymore. I’m still not straining at the leash to go to places with lots of people, but I’m definitely doing better. I simply sit in an outdour café, for god’s sake!!! I stay level-headed, I’m no longer overcome by the bustle and so I’m less or not dizzy anymore. I can better tolerate strip lightning in shops and in other places, which is a huge relief to me (strip lightning made me feel dizzy). I can concentrate very well, I feel more present in my own body. My glance is brighter. People tell me I look healthier. I recover much and much more quickly from everything, and I particularly mean psychologically. I can let go of things even more quickly, I’m no longer stuck to things anymore. I sleep like a baby, I wake up happily and joyfully.
. It is much easier for me to go and do something outside the house. I’m far less afraid and far less agitated, but there is still some tension, though, that hasn’t completely gone yet. But I’m not as incredibly terrified as I used to be. I leave the house every day.
I also put the rubbish bin outside now, before my husband had to do this because it was already too much for me to walk small parts outside my house. Now I simply dare to do that. I manage to have a talk more and more easily when I’m walking in the neighbourhood and I unexpectedly bump into someone. In the past I would run away and pretend not to have seen the other person. I never do that anymore. One time I was walking with my parents and it was really easy for me with all those people passing by. I looked at everyone and I said hello in a friendly way. I didn’t look away once.
. It comes more and more easy to me to be in places with lots of people. First I have to get used to the bustle for a while, but then I manage. We went to a square with loud music and a great many people on Queen’s Day. First I wanted to leave, next I felt a little light in the head, but when I got somewhat used to it I even danced and jumped to the music. My daughter thought it was completely awesome. After an hour or two it was enough, then I got tired of the noise and the bustle, but these were actually two very enjoyable hours. This was unthinkable in the past.
. Now I do my errands (on my own) in a small supermarket once a week on average. This has still improved. At the previous check-up I could visit all the small shops, like the chemist, the baker, etc. on my own and I had started to go to a small supermarket now and then. Now I go to the supermarket once a week in a standard way. The fact that I go on my own is very special to me.
. I have also been to a very large furniture business together with my husband. Most departments went very well, I enjoyed walking around. I also went to the zoo and that went well. I more and more do the talking when I’m in a shop together with my husband.
. The hustle and bustle in big cities is making me less dizzy. I can better bear stimuli, but sometimes it is still intrusive. I’m a lot less afraid of being stuck. I also feel less captured by the other person in contacts with people. I even enjoy shopping now and I can walk in and out of shops without any problem.
. I no longer fear the doorbell and waiting rooms. I greet people and I go and sit when I enter a waiting room. I still pick out the best place, though, where I feel best. I still prefer nobody sitting opposite me. It’s still difficult for me when someone goes and sits opposite me, but I don’t care at all anymore when there’s a lot of bustle next to me.
. Contacts with people are going a lot better. I can again really enjoy contact. It feels as an enrichment to again engage with other people. It’s sometimes a little difficult in the beginning for a short while, but I don’t worry anymore for days in advance because, for example, we’re visiting people tomorrow. I sleep as usual the night before. I also tend to forget about the time when I’m somewhere. It happens more and more frequently that my husband wants to go home first. Now, how long has thát been!!!
. I also had to go to the hospital, I spoke to a doctor and that went well. This one to one conversation didn’t make me feel sick.
. The queue at the cash desk hasn’t been going entirely smoothly yet, but already a whole lot better, though. Every queue used to be a hell before. Now I notice that I have only difficulty with huge queues and that small queues are already going a whole lot better.
. I don’t want to run off everywhere I go. It is very pleasant to experience this once again. I also build up much less stress before I leave the house. I get outside a lot more quickly. This dawdling and postponing has gone. And I don’t feel as hurried anymore once I’m out, I’m calmer, I like it where I am. I also suffer less from sad feelings and a lump in the throat. I feel less sad in public spaces because it’s going better. Before I often used to feel sad about the fact that I didn’t feel at ease anywhere. I wanted to run away everywhere I was.
. I make more eye contact with people, eye contact without sunglasses is undoubtedly going better. My family tells me my eyes are much stronger, I seem to be more present. Before, eye contact used to feel intimidating in some or other unexplainable way. I no longer feel that way. I also wear sunglasses less and less. I feel better, my eyes radiate this more as well, as a result I feel more confident and I show my eyes a lot more on the street outside. I still like to put on my sunglasses in a busy city, this softens the impressions in some or other way, but I walk without sunglasses more and more often.
. Blushing is more exception than rule now.
. I still avoid large groups, I still avoid birthday parties. Although now I do go to my parents’ birthday party while other family is there as well. Before, I used to avoid that as well. I still don’t go to birthday parties of friends, I avoid those, first of all because it’s still too crowded for me, and second, because I haven’t been there for at least seven years, that’s a huge step. Then I would really get the feeling everyone is looking at me because I’m ‘suddenly’ back. All eyes focused on me to see how I will do. I’m not yet up to that. When I meet small groups of people, then I enjoy myself. I feel more confident than I have felt in ages. I talk, laugh, joke, follow the conversations. In short, I engage in it and I don’t always fly away to my own world and I’m not preoccupied with my fears all the time.
. Now I bring my little daughter to the playgroup myself, who would have thought that!! I had never thought that! A school is actually one of those spaces where the bustle and strip lightning is making me feel dizzy. But it’s going fine. I had already drawn up a schedule for my parents and my husband to do this alternately. Although I do find it the most tense thing of the week because a busy schoolyard is still not easy.
. I often go to the children’s farm on my own with my daughter, that is still difficult, but I do it, though. I let her play with other children in the playground and I go and sit on a bench.
Perfectly normal for someone else, but that’s a huge step for me. Before, I would never have done that. I also go biking alone with her, I would never have done that in the past.
. My daughter’s birthday party last year largely passed me by. At the time, it was too difficult, too crowded for me. This year it went a lot better than last year. Last year, I burst out in tears in the kitchen, I really couldn’t cope with it anymore, this hasn’t happened this year. I had a talk with everyone. A very pleasant experience!
. I still go to the psychologist to talk. I now take the expressway, so I don’t go across country anymore. I’m no longer afraid on the expressway. What strikes me during the conversations is that I come across much more powerful when I talk. I know what I say, I know what I feel, I can tell things clearly. The conversations about me only crying and life being so hard are things of the past.
. My life is so much more relaxed, I’m so much more independent. My husband has more free time because I no longer need him to do everything.
. My self-image is by far not as low as it used to be. I feel like a human being again, on the inside and on the outside, and a nice human being as well. You can clearly see that I feel better. I like myself and I’m proud of myself. My self-worth and self-confidence have increased a lot. It’s also logical I like myself more, because I get a lot more done and off course that makes me feel good. I feel more love for myself.
. My husband thinks I’m becoming more of a ‘smasher’ day by day, like he says it, and a nice woman. He thinks I look prettier and thinks it’s fantastic that we are living more. He’s happy that we do more outdoor things. There’s a lot more love between us. It’s as if we’ve made a new start, and a very nice new start indeed.
. I’m much less insecure, hence, things go better. It’s an interaction, which is going in a more positive way now. I feel better, so things are going better too. I make fewer mistakes, and when I do something wrong, than I joke about it myself, and I laugh along. I’m more confident, I feel prettier, but I can still get insecure when someone is looking at me.
. I don’t doubt as much at all anymore. I’ve been getting going with all kinds of cooking books recently, this has become a very nice activity, a hobby of mine. Normally, I never knew what I wanted to eat, the thought of it alone tired me out. Now I think up all kinds of things, I look for a nice recipe and I see to it that it ends up on the table. I no longer think about the moment of posting a letter, I simply go. When I want to visit a friend, then I go, when I don’t want to, then I don’t go. So, this doubting has diminished a lot. I arrange a lot more at home too, which feels good.
. What others think of me, affects me less. I think it’s a pity when someone else doesn’t understand me, but it doesn’t totally upset me anymore. I know what I feel myself, why I do or don’t do things. And that is the most important. Although I’m still a little ashamed about not working and I sometimes wonder what others will be thinking of it and whether they gossip about it. But on the other hand, I now know for sure that I will once again be able to work.
. In general, I leave the house in a much more relaxed way. I walk and sit and do everything in a much more relaxed way, consequently the muscles in my shoulders are hurting less. Normally, I used to be so stressed out that I didn’t even feel I was tensing up my shoulders. When I do that now, I feel it right away.
. I walk far more slowly in shopping streets, I’m not as hurried anymore. Now I look at what is in the shop window. I notice things more.
. I care less about my looks because my natural beauty is coming more to the front once again. I feel better, and therefore I also look a lot more cheerful. My eyes need less make up. I once again wear all colours of the rainbow a lot more. The more colourful, the better. That’s a good sign, because when I don’t feel good, I tend to put on dull colours. I no longer feel I’m failing, not in what I do with other people or in how I look and whether or not my hair is fine. I’m more confident about myself, about my looks, I’m more satisfied with who I am, and as a result I make less high demands on my appearance, I’m less of a perfectionist regarding myself.
. I think positive beforehand, before I start doing things. The fear that something will not go well has diminished a lot. I no longer think it will go wrong once more anyway. I’m no longer discouraged by things.
. I worry a lot less about my brother or my mother. I’m confident they can solve their own issues and I can solve mine. It feels good to no longer carry all the problems of the family on my shoulders. Now I sympathize more with people instead of suffering along with them.
. I’m much less irritable. I don’t take things out on my husband anymore.
. I’m a lot less sensitive to all kinds of stimuli. I happens a lot less that I’m irritated by sounds or light or by white walls to the extent that I burst out crying. Walking around on a fair with a lot of noise is still rather much for me, but I can better take it anyway. The strip lightning made me completely dizzy. Strip lightning is already going much better than before. My eyes can better tolerate strip lightning or bright lights everywhere. It seemed as if I functioned better in the dark than in the light, but this is changing.
. When I can’t find something now, I tend to think: ‘I’ll just put on something else’, instead of keeping on looking till the bitter end. That results in fewer ‘fits of fury’.
. I’m becoming fairly tidy. I used to be very sloppily, now I’m still a bit sloppy. I pay my bills nicely on time, I clean up my documents, I no longer have fines for speeding or for wrong parking. My head is much less chaotic, I try to do things consciously, therefore I do things more tidily. I’ve become much more tidy in the housekeeping than I used to be. It feels much more pleasant when there isn’t a large mess.
. I can somewhat better adapt to some situations, in other situations I still have difficulty adapting. I still don’t like it when the visitors are half an hour early, but I can adapt. I can drop what I’m doing and I don’t get all anxious and warm.
. I can better keep my feet on the ground. My daydreams are realistic instead of all kinds of fantasies. Before, I used to dream about unrealistic things, now I dream about things that I hope are really going to happen. I have faith in the future and I enjoy the moment.
. I’m no longer totally upset by criticism of others, I take things with a pinch of salt. I don’t feel as quickly attacked anymore. In general, I’m more sure of myself. I know very well who I am, what I want, and I approve of what I do. As a result, I’ve become much more powerful. I’m not so quickly on the defence anymore. I’m easier, I think more easily: it’s okay what you want. Or I think: you think like this, and I think like that, and that remains a difference of opinion, it’s no use arguing about it.
. I no longer grieve for things of the past. I’m not angry at anyone or anything anymore. When someone makes me sad, then I’ll say it. I also stand up for myself very well. I let the other know how I feel. I have asserted myself very well lately. There have happened a number of things that went too far for me. I told this honestly then. In the past, I would have gone on joyfully whilst feeling very sad inside. Now I set my boundaries.
. I don’t exaggerate anymore when I tell something which is not so pleasant. I still tell all the details of a positive story, but I think that’s good like that.
. I’m less black-and-white, I’m starting to know the middle course. I’ve gotten better at moderating things. I often exercise, I often do my yoga-exercises, but I don’t exaggerate in anything. I do things because I like to do them, and not necessarily because I must absolutely practise a sport. When I don’t feel like it or when I’m tired, then I listen to myself. Before, I tended to cross my limits.
. In the area of social contacts, I even venture to have less contact when I don’t like a relationship. I call a lot less whereas before I felt compelled to keep on calling everybody. Now I’ve become more easy-going about that kind of things. I meet the people I like more often and I meet the people I don’t like less often.
. I can better set my boundaries, I can better say no. I can better stand up for myself, it costs me some effort to get something done for my daughter and I got my way. I would never have dared to do that in the past. When people ask me something for which I would have to push myself to the limit, then I don’t let myself be talked into it anymore. I hold my own ground. In the past, I didn’t understand myself well, as a result of which I constantly overstepped my own boundaries. At this moment I experience my own head and body as belonging to me a lot more, and as a result I also sense things much better. I’m also getting better and better at figuring people out, even though someone puts on his nicest smile, I sense what is behind this smile much more.
. I’m much better at planning. When I have something to do one day, then I don’t plan anything the next day. My diary has never been this orderly before.
. I have become a lot less possessive towards my husband. I feel prettier, more pleasant, more attractive. I’m far less insecure, so also less afraid of losing my husband.
. I have no more longing to ever be important. Although I would like to do things well and mean something for others.
. My memory has improved. I’m doing a home course in French, and that’s going very well. I learn more easily. I’m no longer reading the same sentence more than a dozen times. I enjoy it very much. Now I know how to handle a route planner, whereas I didn’t before.
. I don’t suffer from premenstrual syndrome anymore. I’m no longer unstable during ovulation. My weight is improving, I have gained some weight and I’m very happy about that. Now I can tolerate dairy products, they no longer cause my stomach to rumble. My posture is relaxed as a result of which the tension in my neck and shoulders has gone. I used to snore loudly and that is going really well lately. I haven’t had any more infections on my knees or under my armpit. My resistance to bladder infections and throat infections has much improved, there are no more infections. I’m so much healthier.
. A few times at night I felt something pulling loose from my chest and throat (= patterns that are pulled out). I also felt like something was being pulled out of my neck and shoulders. It tingled and it felt as if a magnet was placed on it that pulled out all kinds of things. I also feel all kinds of things have been pulled out of my tummy. Wonderful, because it was full of tension.
