Marnyka has started gym and Pilates classes, eats less, better eating habits
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I have no more anxiety about my weight, that I won’t be able to lose weight. I have not lost any weight since the treatment has begun. But I am not beating myself up about not being a certain weight. What I am realizing is that there are things that I would like to do that would be easier if I weighed less. Those desires have begun to drive me to do something about it. My husband and I just joined a gym. I also started an exercise program that I like very much. I find it easier for me to stick with programs that I have to pay for. Im a doing Pilates classes (exercises to strengthen muscles and improve posture). I am beginning to be able to look objectively at my body without judging it. I still would like to get to 140 lbs. (64 kg) and be in smaller clothes.
I do not find that my husband is still a trigger for me to eat when he works on the weekends. I do not turn to food to keep me company anymore. I direct my attention toward my son and we play more.
If I have a voice wanting to go to McDonald’s, I can ignore it much easier and not go. A couple of times, I was in the drive-thru lane for some fast food and before they took my order, I drove away.
I have had to pick my son up from daycare a couple of times since the treatment started for being sick. Both times I went home to eat instead of to a fast food restaurant.
I find that I try to cook more at home and if I go out, I will usually just get something for my son and not for myself.
Overall, I would say that I get fuller faster. I don’t clean my plate as much as I used to. I stop eating when the first sign of being full shows up.
I am not addicted to bread anymore. I still am addicted to chocolate and hot chocolate.
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Marnyka has more energy, is more in control of things, has got a better health
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I really do not have feelings of inferiority any more about my skin color. I am aware that I have a different shade than others but it does not make me feel like something is wrong with me. I do not feel anymore that I have to prove myself being an African American female.
My desire to leave my job is the same as before. The feeling that I have to leave right away is down dramatically. Now it usually pops up after an unproductive meeting instead of all the time.
My focus on a given task is better. I can identify when I am trying to go off task and then I decide if the other task is more important. It usually is not.
I do still procrastinate but I will recognize it sooner and stop it. I do not think that I am a quitter any longer.
I feel like I have more energy. I haven’t felt like everything I do is a chore. I feel like I will do something if I choose to.
I am still very messy but I clean up more around the house so my husband doesn’t have to do as much.
I do not feel lazy anymore. I rarely sit on the couch and do nothing anymore. I am in a web class at night, that actually ended last Wednesday. I play more with my son and I will study some of the modalities I am in to. So even though I am done with that web class, I actually am filling it by doing the modality work and going to the gym more.
I am not having any sex drive problems anymore. I have expressed to my husband the desire to have sex more often. I usually didn’t say anything before. My husband and I have been really active. We said that we actually are more active now than we have been in over 2 years. So I’m very happy. I have no more problems with vaginal dryness either.
I am less congested.
I have noticed some improvement in my skin hydration. I think what I see now is more shedding of my hair instead of my hair actually falling out. I think I am hydrated enough when I drink water. I don’t feel thirsty all the time like I did before.
I am not addicted to reality TV shows anymore.
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Marnyka can let go of unpleasant things of the past, is far less prejudiced about people
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There was an incident I had where it seemed that my husband was upset at me and not talking. I would have usually not said anything either and waited for it to subside. This time I told him we would not end the night not talking. We talked and we were fine. This is a really big step for me, so I was very happy.
Things that have happened do no longer keep running through my mind. I can easily let go of unpleasant things that happen.
I do not dramatize things anymore.
I can forget about things that have happened when I was living with my parents. I do not regret things from the past anymore. I have no more feelings of resentment towards people I have known in the past. I can forgive and forget. I wont keep nagging anymore about what another person has done to me.
I do not get tense anymore when my son is sick.
I do not get depressed anymore because I have not made friends or when I am alone at home or without my husband. I do not feel lonely anymore.
I do not feel judged anymore when I share my problems with other people. I have shared my sexual problems with others and I did not feel judged.
I have been able to accept compliments from other people without feeling like I don’t deserve them. I have noticed I like and love myself a lot more than I used to.
I do not stress anymore about my weight and how to pay for all the things that I am interested in. I still think about them, but there’s no more stress related to this.
I can say no to salespeople. I have not had any urge to buy anything off of the T.V.
I am more accepting of everyone. I try not to judge anyone anymore. If I catch myself I immediately stop.
I am far less prejudiced about people (whether it be about finances, wealth, lower class, lifestyle, parenting, they don’t know as much as I do, stereotypes of races ). I don’t have an immediate judgment anymore when I meet somebody I have never met before. I am more accepting of how everyone is.
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