I have successfully completed my medical training. Despite the enormous task burden that I feel, I have been able to successfully complete the past academic year. Linda’s therapy has certainly contributed to this success.
In the months of June and July, I had a slight setback in areas that had already improved. For example, I was more insecure again, I was easily irritated, I was less happy with the way I looked, I was ashamed of my origin. This has improved again by now. Just like last year, I have had some exacerbations of eczema in the summer. A little on my fingers, on my foot pads (which is very exceptional), a rash in my groins. This has improved again by now. It is remarkable however, that since I get LTA therapy, I also suffer from eczema in the summer. This has never happened before.
I do not feel any particularly major changes since the last check-up, at the end of April. The situation has not changed that much.
I have made a lot of progress since I started with the therapy almost two years ago. However, there are a few very persistent issues. Such as headaches, fatigue, sexual problems, love. Also the feeling of doing something wrong or being afraid of doing something wrong, sometimes reappears.
Also I still do not seem to be able to perceive patterns.
Linda has again done some tests in this respect. I still did not manage to have some extrasensory perceptions. We will try again next year.
Still a few additional problems that need further correction
. At the end of a shift (working day at the hospital) I am completely exhausted.
. I am feeling resistant to taking painkillers. I could take some medication for my headaches, but that is something I absolutely do not want to do.
. When I am leading a group conversation, I notice that I do not have any control over the group, I am weak towards a group, I try to assert myself by means of coercion, ‘I am the boss’, I am irritated, I get angry.
. Towards other people, I feel weak, I feel vulnerable inside and powerless, so that I have a feeling that the other person is stronger and better and that I am the weaker one. This feeling of weakness is a very annoying feeling. It takes away all my power and I get defensive and do not really know how to act or think.
. I get annoyed at someone reacting in an excessively emotional way in a group.. I must be careful not to make a fool of that person or to make him/her look bad.
. I notice that I have trouble dealing with typical college stories such as: acting tough, being cool, partying …
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